Russian troops to be killed by explosive d***s as Ukraine makes phallic nukes

Ukrainian defence forces are reportedly working on a phallic missile that will see Russian troops killed by "explosive d***s".

A former journalist, war reporter and researcher known by his Twitter handle Spaghetti Kozak, shared a picture of the 3D printed penile prototypes on the social media site.

Spaghetti Kozak, who has been serving in the Ukrainian armed forces since last April, said he has it on good authority that the bizarre bombs are the genuine article.

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"Serious historians of this war will be forced to record that dozens of Russian soldiers were killed/wounded by explosive d***s," he tweeted.

He then followed up after someone wanted to know the source of the news, saying: "A friend who is a volunteer sent these. They're legit."

The design is not outside the realms of possibility, especially since a website that supports Ukrainian troops fighting on the front lines allows people to sign bombs and weapons., a unique approach to military funding, gives people at home the opportunity to contribute to the war effort while also sending their own personal message to Vladimir Putin et al.

Through the website, you can write your own bespoke greeting that will be inscribed “in permanent marker”.

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The site says: “You have a chance to send a greeting to orcs with your text written on an artillery shell.

“You will receive a photo of your signed shell or a video of it being fired. Or you can even sign an M777 howitzer.”

The money you donate in exchange for the inscription goes, allegedly in its entirety, towards helping troops on the front line.

Donors are given a wide range of weapons to attach their messages to and you can pay through a number of methods, from PayPal to cryptocurrencies like Bitcoin and Ethereum.

In a rundown of how it works, the site says: “Soldiers at the front lines will write your message in permanent marker on an artillery shell. All donations will be spent on Support for Ukraine.

“You can ask to write almost any text: – Wish someone a Happy Birthday – Ask for a Date – Instagram – Send greetings to Putin."


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